dieva: (Default)
in my goth necromancer era (wei wuxian | 魏无羡) ([personal profile] dieva) wrote2025-12-30 10:24 am
shangba: (02.00)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-13 01:41 pm (UTC)(link)
( ...ah. Not, he thinks, what he had wanted Wei Ying to understand, but not an unfair conclusion. Some part of him thinks, he had anticipated the epiphany. The gradual erosion of memory and Wei Ying's own shock at the circumstances of his first kiss might have helped remove it from his general awareness —

But there is a scent, a likeness, a force only Lan Wangji may impose, and he has betrayed himself. So close, he can see the silvered glimmer of Wei Ying's gem-shining eyes, the dark umbrage of his lashes. Wants to kiss him again, to silence Lan Wangji's own heart, and Wei Ying's mouth.

He should learn to lie, urgently and feverishly. Can't. Takes a step back, then another, staring — back nearly stumbling into the privacy screen, gently rattling it. )


Let us return to Yuan.
shangba: (15.00)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-13 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
( Push him away, pull back. Where might he? There's hardly room between them for words, let alone effort. Wei Ying clings to him, pressure of his warmth a burning mark on Lan Wanghji's back.

He breathes with it. Shutters his eyes. Is, is, is. And startles himself apart and awake, stirring only to peel himself away from the proposition of falling asleep like this, too well comforted. Before him, Yuan has already jumped to that conclusion.

They sit, on the edge of the bed, in perfect, unadulterated stillness. Then, his hand fishes back to clutch Wei Ying's, clumsy. )


You catch cold easier than before. ( Wei Ying's golden core must be no match for the chills of Cloud Recesses. )
shangba: (Default)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-13 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
( ...no. Sunshot wasn't. The world, after, treated him no kinder.

And yet here Wei Ying is, standing despite everything. A creature of loss and grief and unmistakable triumph, of beauty beyond compare. This hand that squeezes his own is cold, but Lan Wangji's core thrums strong, and his blood warms for two.

He catches his husband's wan, sickly hand, and brings it up between his two, carefully applying friction, and breathing hotly against the fingertips. Once. Again. Whatever their relationship, whatever the day's revelations, what little or much Wei Ying may want of him — friend, foe or lover, Lan Wangji can always offer this. )


It's only one hand. ( Murmured, far too quiet. Beside them, Yuan snores reedily. ) I have two.

( He can bear this burden for both. )
shangba: (Default)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-13 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
You would not weep a tear.

( Purposeful, proud. Perhaps, in its own way, mean. He speaks ill of Wei Ying, of his motives, because was it not mere days ago that this same vaunted Patriarch refused Lan Wangji the pleasure of his company? That he rejected orthodoxy and every step along the righteous path?

It has not been Lan Wangji who has sought distance, but Wei Ying who has proudly, unerringly requested it. Who has softened now, but retains his glacial manner, to call upon at a whim.

Still, Lan Wangji does not relinquish his hand, brings it up to his mouth again. Gives it its rightful worship. )


Sleep. I shall take the floor. ( Better, after the latest revelation, to bide Wei Ying some privacy for himself and his thoughts. )
shangba: (15.00)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-14 02:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Before. ( He agrees, and need say no further: before Wei Ying had his revelation regarding Phoenix Mountain, before he took oils and salves and made himself — pretty, before Lan Wangji foolishly betrayed himself.

Before an innocent visit, barely tarnished by scant kisses, became a marriage in both formality and expectations. Now, strangely, with their bonds known — they should be more distant. Now, they should take their precautions, lest they wound their hearts. )


Will have a second bed brought tomorrow. ( Only, in truth, one evening's discomfort. Cloud Recesses is not so impoverished that they cannot afford such accommodations, no matter the toll of war. )
shangba: (14.00)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-14 03:14 pm (UTC)(link)
( He should compromise, walk back his pronouncement. Engage in some manner of negotiation. But a war's only thieved them of their loved ones, not granted them wholesale maturity. Even Lan Wangji, face marred by a far-deep frown, can be unfairly stubborn.

And so, he snatches his abandoned hand away, staring up where Wei Ying is already looming, without fear or falter. )


Is my company worth nothing?

( That it should be so readily relinquished, if it does not come adorned in kisses and commitments. )
shangba: (02.00)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-14 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)
( Filthy. Unwanted. Has anyone said so? Would anyone have presumed? Wei Ying rants and hisses and acts as if he is the perpetual victim of Lan Wangji's wavering loyalties — but was he not the same man who avoided him, previously, at every step?

Between them, Yuan curls up abed, showing faint signs of stirring that only the immediate brush of Lan Wangji's warm hand calms. Soothing, gently easing, sinking back to sleep.

His glance turns away to Wei Ying once more, gilded but gelid. )


Will you be satisfied, having wrenched this from my hands?
shangba: (05.00)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-14 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
( Barely a marriage, this. Barely the conceit of it. Two arrogant children playing pretend with rites they are too immature to entertain. He knows his fault in this, knows the risks of the conversation they're not having.

And of continuing to avoid it.

Already, Wei Ying is planning his violent retreat, dragging his clothes on, exuding irritation that Lan Wangji can neither quantify, nor calm. He thinks to move, to lay a hand on him, to stop him. Stays beside Yuan, as if he draws strength from this child, this beautiful beacon of innocence, hanging.

And then finally, emptily, he says: )


I am not... as expedient as you. I require time. To think. Breathe. ( Be. ) I only ask that.
shangba: (05.00)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-15 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
( Shivering, wet, no better than a cat. A creature deprived the satisfaction of some degree of comfort, staring Lan Wangji down with the impassioned hatred of a mispurposed sun.

Still, Lan Wangji does not go to him. Cannot afford to intervene, to force him, when Wei Ying has spent so much of his time rushing away from such interventions. He will only flee faster, wish him farther away.

He will only begrudge him.

And Lan Wangji has so very tired of being begrudged, voice shedding octaves, deepening, heavy. )


...no matter. No matter, Wei Ying. The bed. We share the bed.
shangba: (02.00)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-15 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
( He feels he has spoken the words before. Knows so, and that they landed ill, that they will not gladden Wei Ying now. Shakes his head, for once, to refuse him. Decides, in the end, not to presume. )

I want you to be happy. ( Here, in Cloud Recesses, beside him. With this child, collapsed and breathing heavily between them. With food in his belly and warmth breathing hard out of a brazier, and in a room possessed of finery.

Happy, here. Happy to be here. Happy, happy, happy, in ways Jiang Wanyin and his people can no longer facilitate. )


That is all.
shangba: (Default)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-15 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
...fault is mine.

( He agrees, perhaps too simply. There is opportunity between them. A trickle of misunderstanding, a rivulet of silence. A vast sea of yearning so oppresaive, so great that Lan Wangji feels overwhelmed by his own want. Wholly drained.

This time he rises, crosses the distance. Lays his hand on Wei Ying's shoulder, first soft, then catching. Holds strong. Holds on.

And he says, only: )


Talk does not come easily. Shall learn, for Wei Ying. Be strong, as I do.
shangba: (02.00)

[personal profile] shangba 2026-01-16 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
( The wet of Wei Ying's clothes, he suspects, have slipped into his bones, slackened his limbs, left his skin gelid. Lan Wangji senses his weakness, his chills, and he draws both arms around his... husband, and he pulls him close. Indecent, by any count, but they're a wedded pair in the privacy of their home, and though Lan Wangji might wish Wei Ying's honor defended and their pledges screamed — this will do. It must do.

In the end, he scatters soft kisses over Wei Ying's brow, the top of his head. A strange angle, their height always too close for the gestures of easy, exceeding fondness he sees between men and wives at the market. No matter. No matter, he has enough.

What more can he ask for? This will do. This is enough. )


All I want is your happiness. Yet I fail. Will you teach me? ( How to do, how to speak, how to conceive of the things that bide Wei Ying's gladness. )

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-16 10:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-16 17:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-16 20:16 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-17 11:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-17 12:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-17 15:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-17 20:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-18 12:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-18 20:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-19 17:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-19 18:07 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-19 18:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-19 18:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-20 13:23 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] shangba - 2026-01-20 17:00 (UTC) - Expand